CHAPLAIN’S LETTER
Lent starts on Ash Wednesday, and Ash Wednesday this year is on March 9th. So it is not too soon to start thinking about how you might use this valuable time of preparation for Easter. Self-denial is a traditional way of using the Lent season and it’s not a bad thing to consider. However many Christians nowadays use Lent as an opportunity to learn a bit more about their faith. At Holy Trinity this year we shall be offering another Lent course prepared by York Courses entitled
RICH INHERITANCE – JESUS’ LEGACY OF LOVE
As well as a course booklet with traditional bible study material written by Bishop Stephen Cottrell, there is an accompanying CD of interviews with Archbishop Vincent Nicholls, the theologian Paula Gooder, and the American evangelist Jim Wallis. It promises to be an exciting package.
At Holy Trinity there will be five study groups meeting on different days of the week at different places:
TUESDAY EVENINGS (starting 15 March)
Utrecht North
WEDNESDAY EVENINGS (starting 16 March)
Houten
THURSDAY AFTERNOONS (starting 17 March)
Parsonage flat
THURSDAY EVENINGS (starting 17 March)
Church Hall
FRIDAY EVENINGS FOR STUDENTS ONLY (starting 18 March)
Church Hall
If you are in Utrecht during Lent this year why not join one of these groups? As many people found in the Advent Bible study course, study groups are a great way to encourage one another in our faith. You can sign up on Sundays on the list in the parsonage,
or email Pam at pamandjohn@holytrinityutrecht.nl
So what are you waiting for?
Fr John
ACCOMMODATION SOUGHT
A member of our congregation from Bulgaria, is looking for accommodation for herself and her daughter and has asked me to place the following notice in the Newsletter:
Lubka Yanakieva and Vera Yanakieva, a 50 year old working woman and her 25 year daughter (student with a part time job) are looking for living space for at least a year (or even two), maximum of €500 a month.
Please e-mail us at lubka@live.com
ANNUAL CHURCH MEETING
Don’t forget the AGM after church on Sunday 27th March. This is an important meeting at which your representatives will be elected. COME AND VOTE!!!
‘WIKILEAKS’ FOR CHOIRS (Part I)
File: Bach cantata services Utrecht
This is the first release of a personal account on some choirs in Utrecht by ‘Wikileaks’ for Choirs.
Theology students founded the Bach cantata services Utrecht in 1967. Like Wikileaks today, it was based upon an ideal: in this case performing the vocal parts of the Bach cantatas should not be the prerogative of a musical and cultural elite, but should be enjoyed by all. So Charles the plumber sings along with Keith, the retired professor of Hebrew. Think about the iconic video clip of the rock anthem “Bohemian rhapsody” performed by Queen in 1975 and you will have an idea of what Keith and Charles look like. This was infused with the noble spirit of “alle menschen werden bruder” (Ode to Joy) from Beethoven’s 9th symphony. The Bach hippies are long gone now, but their legacy remains. No dress code (so the woollen jumpers are permitted) and no contribution required, and no auditions - yet. Some of these ideals of egalitarianism have gradually been put to rest. Nowadays you have to sign in for every rehearsal and attendance is of course compulsory. In a feeble attempt at rebellion I was often tempted to sign my name as J.S. Bach or G.F. Handel, but never did. I think however that if I had signed in as Stanford or Sumsion I probably would have got away with it.
Every Friday night of the first weekend of the month scores of grey-haired Bach admirers flock to an auditorium in Parnassus near the city centre where salsa groups and students bands rehearse. When you enter the auditorium it is like walking through a savannah where herds of cattle graze. As a tenor, this was the very first choir I joined in the second half of the1990’s. Prompted and guided by a fellow student, I attended a rehearsal, armed with the scores and what I thought was some basic knowledge of notes. This was as naive and audacious as a learner driver deciding to drive on the M25 for his first lesson. My neighbour said afterwards: “You did fairly well, but you weren’t singing the tenor part”.
Usually you have no problem in finding the tenor section: the basses, sopranos and altos are all single sex groups - not so the tenors. Sometimes one or two women join whenever they feel there is a need for it. The basses are often most zealous in their devotion to Bach’s works: once they get their engines up and running they could drive through a brick wall like a bunch of mad elephants. The tenors are of a profoundly more timid nature: they look like a family of meerkats standing on their hind legs, straining to see who else wishes to join their small and vulnerable family. The altos are rather like a herd of zebras, more languid by nature than de sopranos, who behave like gazelles who love to practice their high jumps.
You need to have a streak of masochism to get through all the notes. But the reward is infinitely greater than singing a unison verse of a hymn. You get a chance to experience the cantata as it was performed hundreds of years ago and sometimes the combination of music and lyrics overwhelms you.
The conductor recently appealed in the media for younger people to join the Bach cantata services Utrecht. Perhaps he was unaware that there was an article in a local newspaper informing us that the Dutch national railway ran an experiment on Overvecht train, playing Bach’s music on the platforms to drive away young thugs. If the experiment was successful, the music of Bach would be introduced on more train stations across the country.
Oddly enough in a culture where a lot of people preach from their own pulpits, lots of people are united in their admiration of J.S. Bach’s works. Although the Netherlands is a highly secular society, members of the cabinet attend the performance of the Matthew Passion in Naarden practically every year. Almost every first Sunday of the month hundreds of people attend the performance of yet another of Bach’s cantatas in the Geertekerk in Utrecht – more than the average number that go to some church services. People love to chill out to Bach. Seated stiffly on their chairs they manage to wind down with their eyes closed, finally raising their voices to sing along with the choir in the chorale. In between they get a talk from a speaker, varying from a Bach expert to a prison chaplain, offering a rare moment of reflection on the content of the cantata.
Bach was also caught up with the secular spirit of his age. He transferred a lot of secular music to his sacral works. It sometimes wrong foots you when the opening chorus sings about a poor leper from a text in scripture but to music fit for a king. At that point Bach has reused in this cantata an ode he wrote for his noble patron and it seems that Louis the XVI rather than the leper is taking centre stage.
If you would like to see and hear more for yourself, please visit the website www.bachcantates-utrecht.nl
Arnold
WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA? AN INTRODUCTION TO THE BOOKS OF THE NEW TESTAMENT: PHILEMON
The letter to Philemon is the shortest and most personal of Paul's letters. It was written at the same time as Colossians around AD 60. Both letters were written during Paul's imprisonment, probably in Rome, and were delivered at the same time by Tychicus and Onesimus.
Philemon was a wealthy believer in Colosse who hosted a church in his house and converted under Paul (Philemon 19). One of his slaves, Onesimus, after damaging or stealing his master's property (Philemon 11,18), had made his way to Rome. Here he was converted under Paul's own ministry (Philemon 10). On returning to his master, Paul wrote a personal appeal to Philemon, asking him to receive Onesimus, not as a slave, but as a ‘beloved brother’ (Philemon 16).
Philemon consists of one chapter of 25 verses. A greeting, addressed to Philemon and the church which meets in his house (verses 1-3), is followed by four verses in praise of Philemon's love and faith (verses 4-7). Paul comes to his point in verses 8-16, where he tells of his affection for Onesimus and entreats Philemon to receive him back as a ‘beloved brother’ (v. 16). Paul offers to pay any expenses Philemon has incurred and asks him to prepare the guest room for a forthcoming visit (verses 17-22). Final greetings conclude the letter (verses 23-25).
This letter is a wonderful example of ‘speaking the truth in love’ (Eph. 4:15) in Christian relationships. Although it was Philemon's legal right to punish or even kill a runaway slave, Paul expected that Philemon would receive Onesimus back as a brother not as a slave (v. 16). He addresses Philemon as a trusted friend rather than as an adversary (v. 22); he appeals to the best in his character (verses 4-7, 13-14, 17, 21). However, Paul is careful not to force Philemon to do what is right; he helps him choose it for himself (verses 8-9, 14).
Although Paul never called for an end to slavery, this letter challenges the ways in which we can treat individuals as property instead of people. In Christ, Onesimus (lit: useful) has become a brother and useful to Philemon: ‘I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, who became my son while I was in chains. Formerly he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and to me’ (10, 11).
FROM THE STUDENT PASTOR
First of all I would like to thank you all for the lovely words and prayer of support on Sunday 4th February when I was officially commissioned as Student Pastor. That really means a lot to me!
During the first few weeks I have been busy meeting a lot of people (from IPSU, from Holy Trinity and other student-related organizations, both in Utrecht and other parts of the Netherlands). I have also done a lot of writing resulting in a new section on our website (www.holytrinityutrecht.nl) welcoming students to our site and our church.
For those of you who don’t visit the website regularly, part of the text is:
Holy Trinity Utrecht warmly invites all English-speaking students to be a part of this international church community, whether you are here for a year or more, or just for a few months. We welcome Christians and anyone who wants to find out more about Christianity. We are a small, but warm church community. A broad range of people make up our church family. There are people from various backgrounds, old and young, internationals and ‘Dutchies’.
Moving to a new country brings new experiences, changes, and challenges. Studying abroad can be exciting and daunting at the same time. A new city, new people and a new way of life to get used to. Here at Holy Trinity we’d like to offer you friendship and help you feel at home during the time that you are studying here.
(..)
We really hope you’ll quickly feel part of the church family – if you do want to get involved, the best way is to get in touch with Annelies van de Steeg, who is our Student Pastor. You can email or phone her or talk to her after the service on Sunday.
One-on-one
Maybe you’d like to meet up with someone from the church to chat about something. You might have a question or problem that is bugging you, need some advice, or just someone who can listen and pray with you. If this is the case, please do feel free to get in touch with Annelies.
Upcoming activities for students includes the Lent Group
During Lent season (the time between Ash Wednesday and Easter) Holy Trinity Utrecht will offer a Bible Study Group for Students (also known as a Lent Group). This year’s theme will be RICH INHERITANCE - Jesus’ legacy of love. We’d love you to join us, to get to know other students, deepen your faith and prepare for Easter.
We will meet five times on Friday evening between 18th March – 15th April. For more information please contact Annelies.
Annelies
GREEN (AWARENESS) TRENDS!
In the restaurant and catering industry it seems that sustainable thinking and doing are catching on. This is now the topic of conversation in many companies. Developments follow one another rapidly and over 150 restaurants took part in the second edition of the Fair Trade Restaurant week. More cooks swear by biological products. Coffee, tea and chocolate products served in restaurants are increasingly fair-trade. Seasonal dishes are popular, local products are hot items and the whole combination is the pinnacle of sustainability in many restaurants. Wine is found from our own country, as well as sustainable juices and organic beer. La Place collects the coffee grounds from their restaurants for the purpose of growing Oyster mushrooms. Bagels & Beans is making its name with natural products and recently opened its 42nd establishment. Dorint Hotel Amsterdam Airport has a Green and Fair-trade Floor with 40 rooms and suites equipped with new, sustainable facilities. The Nutrition Centre Catering is holding a campaign to produce less waste in the catering industry and, in Amsterdam, the first organic snack bar (Natuurlijk Smullen) recently opened. Hotels seek a ' Green Key '* for environmental policy and the Government hands out subsidies to companies which use energy more efficiently. Websites about pure and healthy eating and drinking are shooting up as fast as sustainable mushrooms. Every day on social media sites there are chat thread lines about responsible and balanced diets.
In summary, we, the members of the Green Awareness group of Holy Trinity Utrecht would like to draw your attention to these biological and fair trade restaurants whenever you are looking for a good place to dine out with friends. To find a nearby restaurant try the following websites:
http://www.puuruiteten.nl/
http://www.trouw.nl/tr/nl/4332/Groen/campaign/detail/1833080/Biologische-restaurants.dhtml
http://www.bewustbiologisch.nl/index.php
http://www.bioboodschappen.nl/biorestaurants.html
or try typing either ‘fair-trade’ or ‘biological restaurants’ into a search engine.
*The Green Key is the international eco label for companies working in the tourist and leisure industries, and Congress venues, who are seriously and controllably promoting sustainability, corporate social responsibility (CSR) and care for the environment within their company and their local surroundings.
Jan for the Green Awareness group
JAM MAKING – THE ONGOING SAGA
Over the years, Jamie’s Jams and Jellies have become something of a feature at Holy Trinity. Alas, when Jamie died, he took most of his recipes with him! However, I have been experimenting and the results are available after coffee - for the brave hearted! Mike Ebbs sent me a rather special cartoon: thanks Mike. It is an amusing impression of the kitchen at Jamie’s Jams and Jellies.
Harry
WOULD I LIE TO YOU?
The average adult lies three times a day. Spouses are lied to the most, followed by colleagues, friend and the boss. Most popular lies are to do with one’s location at any given time, working hours and whether various household chores have been done. Twentieth Century Fox carried out the survey. Many of us may lie, but none of us like to be lied to. If we find out, we are deeply hurt by the person who has deceived us. The Bible advises: “Do not be quick with your mouth... do not let your mouth lead you into sin.” (Ecclesiastes 5:2,6)
PRAYER CHAIN
If you have any requests for the prayer chain, or if you feel called to take part in this ministry, please contact Anne Miechielsen
HOLY LAND TRIP – EARLY MORNING OF DAY 2
On the second day of the Holy Land Pilgrimage we (the Saint Alban’s church group from Macclesfield and me) set out to discover Jerusalem. The city is full of churches: on every site connected with a story in the New Testament about Jesus a church has been built; these date from the fourth century AD onward. The first churches were built by Roman Christians, later on by the Crusaders and Catholic or Orthodox monks. Even today churches are being added, and existing churches are regularly renewed by kings, queens and religious institutions of different denominations: Roman Catholic, Protestants, Greek Orthodox, Russian and Armenian Orthodox. Sometimes the remains of an older church can be seen through special holes in the floor of the new church. After the sixth century AD the Muslims started building mosques in different places in Jerusalem, connected with their Koran stories; one of course, the Al-Aqsa mosque, on the exact spot where the main Jewish temple was in Jesus’ time.
We got up at seven a.m., had a quick breakfast in the dining room and got on our bus. As it was going to be a hot day (plus 30 degrees centigrade in November!) Nasser (our driver) was selling little bottles of water. The water in Jerusalem is drinkable, but has a very strong chlorine taste. On the bus on our way to the first church on the Mount of Olives, Fr Peter led Morning Prayer. I had imagined the Mount of Olives to be at quite a distance from the centre of Jerusalem, but actually it is very close to the city walls. We drove up into the once quiet hills where there used to be nothing but olive groves and yellow sandy rocks. Now these hills are full of tarmac roads, buildings, churches and a huge Jewish cemetery. On the way we passed hundreds of tourists in other buses, cars and on foot. According to Barney (our guide) there had been an unexpected and enormous influx of tourists since October 2010. The first church we visited was right on top of the Mount of Olives: the Church of the Pater Noster.
This church is named after the "Our Father" prayer and stands on the traditional site where Jesus taught his disciples the Lord's Prayer (Luke 11:1-4). It is an oasis-like space with a beautiful square church and in its cloisters, in the shade of olive, oak and cypress trees, mosaic plaques can be seen on the walls, bearing the Lord's Prayer in 62 different languages. A vender was selling silver Jerusalem crosses (a square cross with four smaller crosses in each corner) at the entrance of the complex. I decided that this was a wonderful place to buy one as a souvenir of the pilgrimage. Outside the Pater Noster Church, a little down the hill, there is a magnificent view of the whole of Jerusalem with the Temple Mount in the foreground. Barney gathered us all around and explained the city. In the background a couple of camel drivers were selling camel rides to Jewish army guys who climbed on the camels with their big automatic rifles tucked under their arms. Walking still further down the hill, surrounded by hordes of tourists, we got to the Dominus Flevit church (“the cry of the Lord”). It is a small Franciscan church located on the presumed spot where Jesus wept about the future destruction of Jerusalem and the temple (Luke 19:41), brought about in 70 AD by the Romans. The church is built in the shape of a teardrop to symbolize the Lord's tears. Walking even further down to the foot of the hill, on the road toward the garden of Gethsemane, there were quite a few invalids begging for alms. For a moment I could imagine what it must have been like in Jesus’ time: people crowding around Him asking for help. And while giving these poor people some money it suddenly felt as if we were walking with Jesus and the apostles toward the gardens where Judas and the Roman soldiers were waiting.
To be continued ...
Madeleine
CTC CHILDRENS TRINITY CLUB CORNER
Hi there! Here we are in March (almost) and the time of Lent and all that it signifies for us; our time of fasting, or doing without traditionally follows ‘Carni vale’ or ‘Varwel vlees’ (goodbye to meat) as a means of purifying our bodies in order to be more inwardly focussed – more in tune with how God wants us to be. There are many traditions and rituals associated with Lent, for instance in the Middle Ages churches had the habit of covering the rich décor of the altar with a cloth during this sober period which later was revived by a German fasting-action group who commissioned painters from various countries to create wall-hangings based on themes taken from Jesus’ life to help churchgoers in concentrating on penitence and reconciliation. Our children are more likely to be concentrating on projects in third world countries, and how they can help those who have much less than themselves.
Danielle reports that CTC will be following Jesus’ life story during Lent and especially looking for links to our own lives. The young people’s group with Pam find it more helpful to focus on themes from the lectionary. This month they will be thinking about Holy Week, and discovering how all the Gospel writers concentrate in detail on the last week of Jesus’ earthly life.
Jan van der Kooi, one of our CTC leaders, attended an information evening held by the ‘Vertel Het Maar’ organization – which is CTC’s main resource material. We look forward to reporting something about the content of this opportunity to learn more about the method of the VHM system.
Two new children have joined CTC – a big ‘Welcome’ to Vera and Judy.
N.B. Danielle informs us that there are certainly enough little ones to warrant a crèche service and invites anyone interested to get in contact with her!
A worthwhile Lent is wished to everyone from CTC and YPG (Young Peoples’ Group)!
Nicky for CTC
A QUOTATION FOR LENT
It is a great deal better to live a holy life than to talk about it. Lighthouses do not ring bells and fire cannon to call attention to their shining – they just shine!
D L Moody
SO WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT LENT ANYWAY?
Lent begins on 9 March with Ash Wednesday, which always falls in the seventh week before Easter. Lent is widely observed by Christians as a time of fasting or meditation.
Why ‘Ash Wednesday’? What do ashes have to do with anything? This recalls the Old Testament custom of putting ashes on oneself as a symbol of repentance (e.g. Esther 4.1; Jeremiah 6.26). When the early Church began to observe Lent as a period of preparation for Easter, repentance played a key part. Therefore the wearing of ashes was adopted as a proper external sign of this inward attitude of remorse and repentance.
Especially during the Middle Ages, Christians began Lent by imposing ashes on the heads of the clergy and the people. Nowadays the ashes used come from the burning of the palm crosses from Palm Sunday during the previous year’s Lent. Some churches continue this theme of repentance by the symbolic use of purple clerical vestments and church dressings during Lent.
What about the custom of giving up things? Lent is based on the period of 40 days spent by Jesus in the wilderness before the beginning of his public ministry in Galilee. Jesus fasted for 40 days and so his followers were encouraged to do the same thing. The early Church recommended a fast of two or three days, but by the fourth century, people were encouraged to fast for the full 40 days.
The precise nature of this ‘fasting’ varied. In general, the western church understood ‘fasting’ as a reduced intake of food, but encouraged Christians to spend time in devotional reading or attendance at church as well, rather than just fasting.
What about the length of Lent? The period between Ash Wednesday and Easter Day is actually 46 days. Why not the 40 days that Jesus fasted? In the early Church, every Sunday was regarded as a celebration of the resurrection of Christ - so fasting was forbidden on a Sunday! So the period of 46 days thus consists of 40 days of fasting, plus the six Sundays which fall between Ash Wednesday and Easter Day.
Finally, just before Ash Wednesday, we have Shrove Tuesday, or Pancake Tuesday. This reflects the many thousands of Christian housewives down the centuries who cleared out their larders immediately before the fast of Lent. The simplest way of using up all their eggs, flour and milk was to make pancakes. In some countries the day is known as Mardi Gras, and is marked by major carnivals, most famously in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
BEAUTIFUL
The English test had only one question: "Write an essay on 'The Most Beautiful Thing I Ever Saw'". One of the students finished his essay in less than a minute. It read in its entirety: "The most beautiful thing I ever saw was just too beautiful for words." He got the only A in the class!
City Saints
for years I’ve seen this man
arm in arm
with the same man
his son
trudging along
shuffling
twisted face
through faulty gene
steadily plodding
step by step
treading the streets together
without a word
I enfold them
with a garland of light:
they share the silent
language of trust
Oeke Kruythof
Translation/Transcreation:
Jenny Narraway
HAITI - STILL LOTS TO REBUILD
If you’ve seen the recent TV reports on Haiti, you will know that life there has hardly returned to normal! Many relief organisations are still hard at work on the island.
For example, just over one year on, Samaritan’s Purse has built over 10,000 homes, been involved in feeding over 345,000 people, provided water filters for over 20 communities and consistently run hospitals and medical clinics for those in need. As one staff member says: “Many lives have been impacted - physically and spiritually - as we have worked with local churches and communities in some of the hardest and most gruelling conditions we have ever known. This has certainly been the largest emergency response ever in our history.”.
In recent months, more than 300 medical personnel have been deployed by Samaritans Purse in the fight against cholera, the waterborne disease that has already claimed over 3,000 lives. “Doctors and nurses are up against it, working long shifts in gruelling heat to bring rest, peace and restoration to thousands of people.”
If you would like to support this work in Haiti,
please go to: http://www.samaritans-purse.org.uk
A RITE OF SPRING
You can always tell when spring is on its way: the snow tends to disappear! Mind you, I have known several white Easters in my time so that’s not always a sure fire way of figuring out the season. Another telltale sign is the insanity that seems to get into the cats. Having spent a fairly docile winter, they suddenly start tearing around the house like things possessed. Even old Popsie, now a geriatric 18 year old alley cat, has foregone her warm spot by the radiator to play, albeit half-heartedly, with one of her kick-about toys. The new cats, however, now well into the feline equivalent of puberty, are positively lethal as they hurtle from one sofa to another, bouncing briefly off one of the armchairs (tough luck if you happen to be sitting there) and landing on the floor, only to skid gracelessly as they get paw-spin on the tiles. In fact, their antics have already cost me one of my Christmas presents: a modern air freshener which consists of a tall thin bottle of perfumed oil into which you stick artistic twigs. I must confess that the perfume is wonderful, but the bottle lasted about 20 minutes when one of the young cats got the rips. The house smelled of the oil for quite some time – it was delightful! By the way, I am still finding fragments of glass in odd corners. It’s amazing how these things seem to explode when they hit a solid tiled floor.
But once again, I digress. I was talking about the coming of spring. The other, and much more irritating sign of the advent of warmer weather, is the appearance of little piles of earth as the moles wake up and start digging. Now I have nothing against moles, as such. They are sweet looking, blind little creatures with lovely fur, even if they can dig like fury and be out of your reach under the ground in no time at all, if you give them half a chance. The problem comes from the fact that their corridors go under absolutely everything. Before we rebuilt the house, they even managed to burrow right under the concrete slab that served us as a patio, to come up in the one little patch of earth between the concrete and the wall of the house – a lone molehill in the middle of a cement jungle. I wish them no harm; I just want them to move house!
These mining activities remind me of the funeral of a friend of ours in Amsterdam, many years ago. Raphael was an American, and through the American Women’s Club, he came into contact with a Russian princess, Serene not Royal. She was American by virtue of her marriage. Actually, her history was a bit more complicated. She was born and brought up in France and ended up at a finishing school in Berlin as WW2 broke out. While there she backed the wrong horse. Thinking that Germany would be sure to win, she married a Nazi officer. The marriage survived no longer than the Third Reich and then she threw in her lot with the Americans. Now this may seem a little calculating, but as a stateless person she needed a place to call home and so she married her American and got a nationality. In many ways she was a caricature of a Russian princess and would have fitted perfectly aboard the Orient Express! She attended Raphael’s funeral looking the part in black with a lovely, black lace headscarf and holding a single long-stemmed red rose which she wielded like a rapier. Being of a theatrical bent, her gestures, amplified by the rose, became exceedingly dangerous for all those within eye-poking range. It was spring then as well, and Raphael had chosen to be buried and not cremated. As we moved to the grave, the local wildlife was busy scurrying about, a fact that struck HSH as utterly charming. In fact, while we were enjoying the inevitable coffee and cake (to be honest, Raphael had insisted that we splash out a bit more on the refreshments and there were sandwiches and even some sherry for those who needed something a little stronger than caffeine) Her Serene Highness turned to Jamie and commented about “all ze lovely leetle animals in ze graveyard” – yes, she really did talk like that. Jamie, ever one to be cynical, agreed that they were charming. And then glancing at the grave, now being filled in, he added: “and so many of them dig, don’t they?”
Happily, the only digging creatures we have to deal with in this part of Holland are the afore-mentioned moles What I have always found to be unfair about these creatures is the fact that, although my drive is a bit like a lunar landscape with all the undulations where the bricked surface has collapsed into a mole corridor, the little critters leave the parking lot of the graveyard across the way well alone. Perhaps they have already run into the first millennium skeletons under there! And we have tried everything to get rid of them. For a while, the buzzing mole scarers seemed to do the trick. Then gradually the molehills returned. Either the poor little things had gone deaf, or they had sussed out the fact that the buzzers were harmless. My brother had an interesting idea: put sardines into the mole corridors. At first I thought that this must rank alongside rubbing warts with a steak at midnight, but then I thought about it. Since moles are blind, they will have a very well developed sense of smell and perhaps they just hate the smell of fish. So I bought a couple of cans of cheap sardines and started dropping them into the molehills. The man who owns the field alongside my property watched me with fascination. After a while he commented: “they won’t grow, you know!”. Another suggestion was to put a hose into the corridor and flood the critters out. This also seemed logical and so I stuck a hosepipe down a molehill and turned on the tap. After several hours, when there was no sign of the water backing up, I realized that I would probably have to flood most of our neck of the woods since the network of mole runs was likely to be extremely extensive. So that idea got nixed. The unkindest cut of all was a suggestion from a friend who lives in France – blow the little blighters up! He even sent us a kit that you can buy in French garden centres. There is a detonator connected to a charge that slips into a molehill and thus into the corridor. When the poor, blind mole noses into the detonator, the charge explodes, hopefully killing the mole. I found this whole process to be just too unkind for words; added to which, the only way to restock on charges was to go to France – they were not available via the Internet.
Talking of moles reminds me of a truly incomprehensible blunder on the part of B&Q. They were surprised when their super-duper mole deterrents failed to sell in Ireland. You would have thought that a big company like that would have done its market research: there are no moles in Ireland!
Harry
Services at Holy Trinity Church, Utrecht
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