CHAPLAIN'S LETTER
Last Saturday I attended a New Wine study day in Amsterdam. The speaker was Bishop Graham Cray who is the Archbishop of Canterbury’s missioner and special adviser on the missionary worship experiments taking place all over the UK called “Fresh Expressions”. If you would like to know more about this have a look at the Fresh Expressions website - http://www.freshexpressions.org.uk/.
Bishop Cray came to talk to us about “Making disciples” and as soon as someone starts to remind me about my calling to do that, my heart usually sinks, because many of us feel that we are not very good at that kind of thing. Of course we can easily confuse “making disciples” with “getting people back to church”, which is even more difficult, so we tend to leave evangelism to the evangelicals, and hope for the best.
Well Bishop Graham’s day was wonderful, and in spite of the subject I was deeply glad to be there. He took my idea of “making disciples” which is probably something like “encouraging people to get interested in religion” and gently reshaped it. We so often read the great commission in Matthew 28.16-20 as a kind of difficult and unpleasant duty about “converting people to Christianity”. In contrast to that Bishop Graham showed us that the fundamental purpose of all Christian discipleship is to be a blessing to others. At the heart of our own discipleship is the conviction that “Jesus knows how to live my life better than I do.” So being a disciple of Jesus is about learning from him how best to live my life in order to bring blessing to others. Being a disciple of Jesus is therefore a lifelong task and we only graduate when we enter the Kingdom. But the main purpose of being a disciple of Jesus is not to convert other people to our way of thinking but to be a blessing to them because our lives are just beginning to be a little bit Christ-like.
“Making disciples” is therefore not primarily about “converting people to Christianity” or “getting people to church”. It is about becoming a lifelong disciple or follower of Jesus oneself, in order to learn how to live the kind of life which will be a blessing to other people. It is also about encouraging others to discover the same source of blessing that we have discovered, so that they can become a blessing to others too.
During the study day Bishop Graham took us through many aspects of discipleship in much greater detail, but should you be interested in discovering more, St Matthew’s gospel is the basic manual for Christian discipleship. If we could learn to live life in Jesus’ way rather than our own, perhaps by taking the teaching of the Sermon on the Mount to heart (Matthew ch. 5-7) and putting it into practice, we shall not only find ourselves becoming disciples, but also starting to make them. After all Christ-likeness is what attracts other people to become disciples and learn how they can also become a blessing to others. So I started my day the other Saturday with stereotypes and fears, and ended it with solid biblical teaching and with joy. Now, if only I could pass that on…
Fr John
AVE VERUM CORPUS
This anthem is a short Eucharistic hymn that has been set to music by various composers. It dates from the 14th century and has been attributed to Popes Innocent III (Pope from 1198 to 1216), as well as Innocent IV (1243-1254) and Innocent VI (1352-1362).
During the Middle Ages it was sung at the Elevation of the Host during the consecration. It was also used frequently during Benediction of the Blessed Sacrament. The hymn's title means "Hail, true body", and is based on a poem deriving from a 14th-century manuscript from the Abbey of Reichenau. This Benedictine Abbey was founded in 724 and was built on an island in Lake Constance in southern Germany.
The poem is a meditation on the Roman Catholic belief in Jesus' Real Presence in the sacrament of the Eucharist, and ties it to Catholic ideas on the redemptive meaning of suffering in the life of all believers.
The Latin text reads:
Ave verum corpus, natum de Maria Virgine,
vere passum, immolatum in cruce pro homine,
cuius latus perforatum fluxit aqua et sanguine:
esto nobis praegustatum in mortis examine.
O Jesu dulcis, O Jesu pie, O Jesu, fili Mariae.
Miserere mei. Amen.
The setting by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756-1792), KV 618, is perhaps the best known of all. Of the many other settings of the poem, the best known are probably those by William Byrd (1543-1623) and Sir Edward Elgar (1857-1934). There is also a version by Robert Lucas Pearsall (1795-1856).
The text is even used in an opera by Francis Poulenc: Dialogues of the Carmelites.
Our choir isn't planning to sing in an opera but hopes to sing settings by the composers listed above on all Sundays of Lent: Pearsall on the First, Elgar on the Second, Byrd on Mothering Sunday and Mozart on the Fifth.
An English translation reads:
Hail, true Body, born of the Virgin Mary,
truly suffered, sacrificed on the cross for humankind,
whose pierced side flowed with water and blood:
May it be for us a foretaste in the trial of death.
Oh dear Jesus, Oh merciful Jesus, Oh Jesus, Son of Mary,
have mercy on me. Amen.
Henk, Director of Music
A QUOTATION FOR LENT
The face of Jesus must be very near our own when the thorns from his crown of suffering are pressing our brow and hurting us. Anon
BULBS FOR TIBETAN CHILDREN
On the table in the parsonage hall you can once again find catalogues for spring bulbs. As you know, if you buy from these catalogues, 30% of what you pay goes to the Wilde Ganzen for the Tibetan children and the Wilde Ganzen organisation again adds a premium of 70% .
I'll send in your orders on the day after Easter, but unfortunately, I won't be in church on the 21st and the 28th of March. However, you can always mail me (mhehoog@xs4all.nl) with the order number and the quantity you require or you can send the order form to Prof Wentlaan 38, 3571 GD Utrecht. You can also give your orders to Betty van der Hoofd or to me on when I am there. The Tibetan children will be very happy with your help, as will their representative who thanks you very much again!
Maya
LESSONS FROM KITCHEN SURGERY
“What have you got there, Harry?” my mother asked. “A scalpel.” Her response: “be careful, they’re sharp!” was not only unnecessary since I was still a practicing pathologist at this juncture and well used to sharp knives, but it also illustrated a common feature of mothers: they nearly always treat you like a child no matter how old you get, but at the same time, they do it with incredible love and concern. Mind you, my general clumsiness, particularly with sharp objects, is legendary in our family, so perhaps her warning comment was not entirely out of place.
All this ran through my mind only a few weeks ago when I was trying to slice off a knob of butter from a rather over refrigerated slab of Kerry Gold (you can get good Irish butter at Makro for those of you who are wondering where I came by such a delicacy). The knife, which was very sharp, suddenly sank into the butter and continued on into my left index finger, very nearly amputating half a centimeter of it on its course. In fact, it was only running into the nail that prevented impromptu minor surgery. I yelped, grabbed a couple of sticking plasters and bound the wound up so tightly that the remaining intact part of the top of the injured finger began to go quite purple, quite episcopal really. However, I felt that the compression was more important at this stage than anything else. And besides, when I did my orthopaedics, MANY years ago, we used to shut off the entire blood supply to a whole leg, sometimes for as long as two hours, with no apparent ill effects, so I had no fears for the intact part of my finger. I did relent a little later in the evening and loosened the plasters.
In the course of the following days, the bleeding (which had been profuse) stopped, the wound began to close and, possibly thanks to the immediate and enthusiastic compression, most of the loose bit of the finger top survived. Gradually the thin edge of the past tense bits of me began to dry up and fall off, and the wound in my finger started to fill in. Bit by bit, my repair system began to remodel my finger until it looked pretty much the same as it had done before I
tried to cut a knob of butter in which to microwave my potatoes. Of course, we human beings can only really repair cuts and gashes; a humble axolotl can regrow a whole limb. Nevertheless, as I watched, fascinated, the process of restoration going on in my finger, I could hear echoing in my mind verse 13 from Psalm 139. Why don’t you look it up?
Harry
WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA - AN INTRODUCTION TO THE BOOKS OF THE NEW TESTAMENT: MARK
In our series looking at the books of the New Testament we come to Mark, the second of the synoptic gospels (with Matthew and Luke).
Traditionally this gospel is ascribed to John Mark, a close associate of Peter (as we read in Acts). According to Papias (c AD 140), Peter was a major source of material for Mark and it is believed that the gospel became a source for the other synoptic writers. It was written for Gentile readers, probably in Rome. This may have been during Nero’s persecution of the church (c AD 64-7), recognising that suffering and persecution are important themes throughout the gospel.
Mark wastes no time in getting down to business: ‘the beginning of the gospel about Jesus Christ, the Son of God’ (1:1). Unlike Matthew and Luke he omits the birth narratives, but begins with the unveiling of Jesus’ public ministry. The gospel is a succinct and vivid account of Jesus’ ministry, emphasising more about what Jesus did than what he said. Mark moves quickly from one episode to another, often using the word ‘immediately’ which is characteristic of his gospel.
For Mark, understanding the true identity of Jesus is fundamental to his gospel. Halfway through his account Jesus asks the disciples, ‘Who do people say I am?’ (8:27). Mark is helping us to understand Peter’s answer, ‘You are the Christ’. This is evident in Jesus’ role as rabbi (teacher), his call for discipleship and the account of Jesus’ death and resurrection, which occupies a third of the gospel. The messianic secret, when Jesus warns people to keep silent about who he is or what he’s done, is unique to Mark. It contributes towards the tension in grasping Jesus’ true identity.
A key verse which helps us to understand the nature of Jesus’ mission and how we might live in the light of it is: “Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." (10:44,45)
Mark is understandably in a hurry to tell us about Jesus; the one who reveals the truth of God to us, so that we can live in reality and not ignorance!
PRAYER CHAIN
If you have any requests for the prayer chain, or if you feel called to take part in this ministry, please contact Anne Miechielsen
‘DE PROFUNDIS’ IN THE DOM
Until 16 April there is a special exhibition in the Dom with a small selection of paintings by Jan Scheurs on the theme of ‘out of the deep’. From the anguish of women crying to heaven, to the hope and fulfilment of the golden bird, these six paintings illustrate the transition from the depths of despair to the hope of Easter. The workshop, organised by theologian and dancer Riëtte Beurmanjer and Ikon pastor Judith van der Werf, uses dance and images, to give participants the opportunity to experience the tension between ‘being in the dark but seeking the light’, based on the painting ‘Crying to Heaven’ and psalm 130. On March 18 there is a symposium ‘Writers and artists on suffering’. Speakers include Prof. Maarten van Buuren and theologian and artist, Ruud Bartlema.
For more information, contact Desiree Berendsen, Achter de Dom 1, 3512 JN Utrecht (desiree.berendsen@domkerk.nl, 06-40761941, or visit www.domkerk.nl).
UTRECHT PLATFORM CHURCH and ISRAEL
The Utrecht Beraad Kerk and Israel has asked us to publicise the following events:
Thursday March 18, in ORKA, Mariahoek 17 in Utrecht: ‘GENESIS: the covenant - the growth of the covenant - the growth of the patriarchs’ introduced by Tirtzah Middleton from the Liberal Jewish Congregation. Admission is free but a contribution will be requested for coffee and tea.
April 6, 19-30 to 22-00, Seder celebration in the Pastorie, Kanaalstraat 200, led by Tirtzah Middleton. There are limited places available. Apply via utrberken@gmail.com, or phone 0651006575. The evening costs €5 per person.
Sunday 25 April, at 19-30 in the former synagogue on the Springweg, the Yom Hasjoa vigil.
SIMPLE MATHEMATICS
Global warming is real + we do nothing = possible disaster
Global warming is real + we do something = we might save the planet
Global warming is a myth + we do nothing = no change
Global warming is a myth + we do something = we save money
What do we have we to lose? It’s a no-brainer!
HEDGEHOGS DON'T LIKE DECKING
Is your garden hedgehog-friendly? A conservationist from Hull University has warned that hedgehogs could well disappear from Britain within the next 20 years because of the trend in using paving and decking in so many millions of gardens. The ‘makeover’ trend restricts the animals’ access to feeding areas. So think about these timid creatures when you redesign your garden.
SAVING WATER
Why should we save water here in this country? There is certainly no shortage of it here, so what's this all about? It has been pointed out
to me that the clean, pure water that comes out of our taps has required pumping and purification, and it is this treatment that uses lots
of energy.
So what can we do to cut down on our use of water? No one is saying that we mustn't drink it, but there are many other uses
that turn into misuse:
1. First of all, we keep our bodies clean with bathing and stepping under the shower, but is it necessary to
fill the tub up to the brim, or keep the shower going for 15 minutes? These are luxuries we can no longer afford.
2. Brushing your teeth does not necessitate leaving the tap on during the whole process. A cup of water is sufficient.
3. Washing our clothes usually entails the use of a washing machine, but let's not casually turn it on for just a couple of items.
4. As for washing our dishes, we can make that a once-a-day job.
5. Of course we must acknowledge that flushing our lavatories requires lots of water. We can put a brick in the tank to reduce
the amount of water, or we can follow the motto of the Americans in San Francisco during a water shortage, when people were required
by law to use less. It sounds disgusting but it works:
'If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down.'
6. Save rainwater to use for the garden and washing the car.
7. Use the minimum amount of water for keeping your house clean.
8. Avoid pouring chemicals or oil in the sink. Such substances make it necessary to use more energy and water to clean up.
All of us must do our part to save energy - in every way we can.
Mary, for the Green Awareness Group
A PRAYER FOR EVERYDAY
(Anonymous, medieval)
Help us this day, O God,
to serve Thee devoutly, and the world busily.
May we do our work wisely, give succour secretly,
go to meat appetitely, sit thereat discreetly, arise temperately,
please our friend duly, go to bed merrily and sleep surely,
for the joy of our Lord, Jesus Christ, AMEN
SUMMER TIME
Summer time starts in the night of 27/28 March. Don’t forget to put your clocks FORWARD one hour before you go to bed on the Saturday, otherwise you will be very late for morning service on Sunday the 28th!
A LOVE LETTER FOR LENT
Love has many facets: the Love between a boy and his pet; the Love between two friends; the Love between two neighbours; the Love a parent bears for his or her child and the Love a child has for his or her parent. There is the love between a brother and sister, that the one has for the other.
The most written and sung about Love is that between a couple ‘in Love’; and so there are many others. The greatest Love is that Love that we have for our Heavenly Father.
I often think we debase the word "Love" these days. We use it too lightly without realising what we are claiming. The word LOVE is a sacred word, which implies enormous strength and depth and above all, requires openness and honesty.
The test of genuine Love comes when we can acknowledge the good and the bad and can accept and love people for what they are.
This time of Lent gives us the opportunity to Love without harbouring any animosity, and without bearing any grudges or jealousy, or entertaining mean and hateful feelings, but above all, it is a time to forgive, because that is what we desire from God for ourselves, and if we go through life not being able to forgive others, we shall not be able to enjoy the Glory of God’s forgiveness and therefore we will not have peace of mind or true happiness.
I pray that you will all be blessed during this very Special Season of Lent.
LOVE.
Cynthia.
CTC CHILDRENS TRINITY CLUB CORNER
Hi there! Well there may be an odd snowdrop here and there but growth seems to be a little suspended during this cold period of prolonged winter; but we trust that Spring will burst forth at some point! The seasons do not affect our Christian cycle and in this month – part of Lent - the CTC children are also getting geared up to make the most of this special time leading up to Easter. Christian Aid have brought out a leaflet ‘Up for the Challenge’ with the theme – children’s count your blessings – Lent 2010. It sets out a series of small challenges to make children think about the real situations of children in developing countries and suggests how they can contribute in a small way, appropriate to a child, to various projects that CA is busy with in these countries.
For instance – the challenge for 21 February: eleven-year-old Walter lives in Bolivia and mainly eats potatoes. His favourite way to eat them is in soup! Christian Aid is helping to fund seeds, tools and training to help his family grow other vegetables to eat and sell. COUNT ALL THE DIFFERENT KINDS OF FOOD YOU HAVE IN YOUR HOUSE. Give 2p (2 euro cents) for each kind.
Not all the challenges involve giving small amounts of money. The leaflets are available on the table in the parsonage entrance (as always) and they could be displayed at home where you can see them every day, and each week there’ll be a blessing to count!
CTC will be following the life of Moses – his entrance into the world in Exodus and the special task God calls him to carry out – leading the Israelites out of slavery under the Egyptians – to freedom to the land God had promised to Abraham, Isaac and to Jacob. Moses couldn’t have known that this yoke he was called upon to bear would take so long, but he learned the value of taking his time. He understood how difficult it was for these people, after a lifetime of slavery, to put aside their false gods and allow themselves to be guided by God through Moses – it would be a long process. And, as Danielle so clearly pointed out, this ties in with the great message of Easter: that Jesus died for us to release us from slavery to sin – that is the link.
Our Youth Group, led by Pam, will also have been delving into the story of Moses – during the session on 14th February - some of the ‘hidden’ parts such as when Moses kills the Egyptian who had been beating a Hebrew and before God calls to him from the burning bush.
Pam was hoping they would have the chance to talk about how God can call upon our gifts and get us on the right track even after things have gone wrong.
CTC wish you a very GOOD LENT. See you in April!
Nicky for CTC
MOSES ANAGRAM
Word jumbles - a challenge for readers of all ages! Nearly all the words have something to do with Moses. They are all English words and the solution is at the bottom of the back page.
abekst ____________________
aahhopr ____________________
deehhprs ____________________
aceilmrs ____________________
bginnru bhsu ____________________
aeglpsu ____________________
aeoprssv ____________________
aeeiilrsst ____________________
acdemmmnnost ____________________
adeelr ____________________
AFTER THE EARTHQUAKE IN HAITI
“My vest was falling to pieces,” a British missionary in Haïti told a visiting clergyman from the UK. “I could only use it for cleaning my bicycle chain. Then I threw it away. The next day I saw a little boy wearing my vest.”
And now the earthquake. Christians are as distressed as any by the Haïti disaster, and share in providing relief. But we are not completely shocked.
The reason is that adversity is firmly built into Christian understanding – which somewhat resembles a raft, composed of four mighty planks; Creation, our
human Fall, Redemption and the final Triumph of God. With these we can negotiate today’s rocks and currents. Take the Fall:
1. We are all living in a fallen world. Our present world-order is not as originally created. Basically we became a race of rebels, fallen from our custodianship over Creation – so bringing both ourselves and the Creation itself into the frustration of ‘bondage to decay’ (Romans 8:18-23). Even the ground we stand on was affected (Genesis 3:17,18).
2. We are all living in a temporary home. In the face of a natural fatal disaster (Luke 13:4,5), Jesus said that those killed were no more ‘guilty’ to die, than anyone else. All will die one day. But his words gave the warning: One day it will be your turn. Yes – run to the aid of those who suffer, but events like Ha?ti remind us that centre stage is not this life; we must prepare ourselves at any time for the next!
3. We are all living on borrowed time. Jesus went on to speak of a fruitless fig tree. Should it be cut down? No, Give it a year’s reprieve (Luke 13:6-9). The lesson is clear. If some people are cut off in a matter of seconds, those left should humbly consider how they will use the life that has been spared to them. This leads to a final truth:
4. We are all living as debtors to love. People hung on Jesus’ words because they knew that he had solid answers for this world’s sorrows. Indeed he was the answer, for at the Cross we meet the love of the suffering God himself. One prayer must be that out of the Ha?ti experience there will be some who will see this, and respond.
Richard Bewes, former rector of All Souls Langham Place, London
Occasionally, incense is used at Holy Trinity. Since many people may be unfamiliar with its use, or perhaps consider it something that belongs to other denominations, I felt that the following article, from our resources website ‘Parish Pump’ might be of interest. Ed.
SIGNS AND SYMBOLS IN OUR CHURCHES: INCENSE
A number of churches use incense within their worship; some as a regular feature, others on particularly ‘high’ or ‘special’ occasions, such as Easter and Christmas, yet others only as a part of one-off informal participative services.
‘Incense’ is a combination of natural gums, plants and waxes, each different combination giving a unique fragrance. You can find incense in many different forms in local shops for use in the home – sticks, cones, within wax to melt on a heated plate and so on.
In churches it’s most common to use incense in the form of small grains which are placed on burning charcoal.
Incense was used in worship long before the time of Jesus. It’s sweet smell and its rising smoke give it the image of a person's prayers rising up to God. It’s no surprise that the psalmist says in Psalm 141, "Let my prayer come like incense before you."
Each granule when placed on a heated coal immediately emits a strong perfume and clearly perceptible smoke. When a number of grains are placed together the result is a powerful visible reminder that whilst alone we can be heard and seen, together we are far more potent and noticeable.
The slightest time of burning can leave an aroma long after the heat of the burner is quenched and the incense itself is consumed.
If you can, why not attend a service where incense is used and have a look at how it is carried and burned, the exact way that it is used, and how it is kept alight? If incense in church is new to you, try burning some yourself at home while you say your daily prayers or have your time of quiet with God. Imagine the smoke and scent blending with the air around it as your prayers and quietness blend with God almighty and his love for you and all creation
Rev Dr Jo White
MIRACLE 11: THE MIRACLE OF A MIRACLE
A reflection on miracles
On the 26th of January this year a man in Haïti, who had been buried under the rubble for 12 days, was saved. How can anyone survive that long without a sip of water? It is a miracle! Yet so many people did not survive the earthquake. And there was Rob travelling to Iona just before Christmas went from one flight to the next and then onto the train to Oban in the blizzard. The flights just before and just after his were cancelled, due to the terrible weather conditions and his train to Oban was the only one going due to snow on the railway track. Rob had the smoothest and fastest journey possible, amidst total travel chaos everywhere else. “A miracle”, everyone agreed on Iona. Yet so may people got stuck at airports while travelling to family for Christmas…
Pondering this I realized that what I call a miracle is usually ‘something good’ and something happening that is ‘virtually impossible’. There are of course miracles that come out of something I feel is “bad luck” at first, but producing some great development in the second instance.
When a miracle happens like the one in Haïti, or the journey to Iona, there is the thought: “God kept this man alive, God was taking special care of him”, or: “God helped Rob to get to Iona, He was directing the journey every second of the way”. But isn’t this always true? Isn’t God with us all the time, every second, listing to our prayers, directing our life, helping us to grow closer to Him through good and bad situations? Isn’t everything in our life actually a miracle?
Then not so long ago I suddenly realised that there is ‘a miracle within the miracle’. It is not the ‘good’ and ‘virtually impossible’ happening that makes me feel a miracle is going on. No, it is the feeling of “guidance”. When a miracle happens there is a sudden strong realization of God’s presence in me, around me. And it is this sudden strong realization that I now feel is the ‘true miracle’. It is God ‘saying’: “I am with you, do you feel it clearly now? Remember it all the time because I am with you always. So don’t fret, leave all it to Me!”
Madeleine
FADING TO GREY
In retrospect it all started a few months ago, I just didn't realise it at the time. In fact the only thing that did catch my attention was the fading print in my copy of Private Eye. Some of the pages were so faint that I had to move closer to the light to read them. I had also begun to avoid driving at night as the glare from the oncoming car's headlights was starting to annoy me. Then one morning I sat down at the computer and there was a grey smudge on the screen. Trying to wipe it clean had no effect so I took off my glasses and gave them a wipe. The smudge remained and I switched to my reading glasses. When the smudge still persisted I began to get worried and asked Harry to have a look at my eyes. He informed me that he couldn't see anything as he didn't have the right equipment to see into my eye and sent me off to the local GP. The GP came up with exactly the same excuse and passed the buck to the local hospital. So a couple of days later found Harry and me sitting in the waiting room of the oogaarts (so much easier to pronounce than ophthalmologist).
This was a very large room with lots of patients and friends sitting chatting. Every so often a voice softly called out a name and usually nothing very much happened until it was repeated several times. The 'take a number' system would have been so much more efficient, but I suppose that some patients wouldn't be able to read the display. Eventually my name was called and I went off to have my eyes tested. Having gone through the 'one eyed squint' at the eye chart bit, I then got drops put in, a procedure I HATE, and was sent back to the waiting room until the drops kicked in. Then it was back to a now darkened examination room for the bit where they shine a bright light, via your eyes, right into your brain. Finally I had the 'puff of air directly on to the naked eyeball' trick. I always thought this was a test of the reflexes, just to see if you could jump back quickly enough, but Harry assured me they were testing the pressure inside my eyeball. After that I was sent back to the waiting room to weep quietly before seeing the consultant.
She illuminated my brain again and announced that I had a cataract. I said that I thought it had come on rather suddenly for a cataract and was informed that diabetics can get very fast growing ones. Her next concern was: could I lie still for about half an hour with a sheet over me. I told her that I had survived a MRI scan, where they stick you in a drainpipe for half an hour, so I should manage.
From that point on it was like being on a production line. I was given a prescription (pre-printed) a chit for an appointment and a pamphlet. The appointment was offered for the same day as my annual heart check up and had to be declined so I ended up going in two weeks later. To my horror the prescription produced, not one, but two bottles of eye drops. Most interesting was the pamphlet which consisted mainly of a list of things I must not do for a week after the operation.
No bending over. No picking up heavy weights. No blowing of the nose. Sneeze only with your mouth open. Now the last two worried me slightly. Although not exactly a recipe for disaster I could see them, in combination,
producing some very antisocial results. I mean, if you don't blow your nose for a couple of days, then sneeze with your mouth open, anyone nearby is going to look like they have been on the losing team in a paint ball competition. The other worrying part was the operation itself. While previous procedures had been painful and traumatic, they had kindly let me sleep through them. But this time I would be fully awake and looking right at the knife. So I was on the horns of a dilemma. On the one hand I was dreading the operation and on the other my rapidly deteriorating eyesight was driving me mad. Added to this was the fact that I could no longer drive my car and being driven by Harry causes me problems that I'd rather not discuss here, what with him being the editor. Then the day arrived and we were ushered into a much smaller waiting room where it was easy to tell who was the patient and who was the minder. The minders were all sitting reading the magazines while we patients, who could no longer read, stared into space.
The lady in front of me was called and about half and hour later my name came up. I was taken into the preparation room where the lady in front of me was sitting on a strange looking chair. Although it reclined slightly she sat in it bolt upright. She was one of those people who, when worried, are given to inane chatter. I'm more of the broody sort and all her attempts to start a conversation just got monosyllabic grunts from me. Also provided was a nice nurse who put drops in our eyes at regular and very short intervals. Mercifully the two of them chatted and left me in peace. Eventually a buzzer sounded and the nurse went into action. With the touch of a button the strange chair changed itself into an operating table and the lady was then cocooned in sheets. A door opened, the preceding patient was wheeled out and the still chattering lady wheeled in. To my great relief the patient who came out seemed to be OK and he was ushered back to the waiting room. The application of the drops continued and by now my right pupil was so large it could have been used as a swimming pool. All too soon the buzzer sounded again and this time I was laid out and gift wrapped. The lady, alive but no longer chattering, was wheeled out and I was wheeled in. The room contained an impressive selection of microscopes and enough lights for a small theatre. The three masked occupants introduced themselves, covered me in a sheet with an eyehole and added even more eye drops. Having convinced themselves that my pupil could not be further dilated they switched on the light! I feel sure that they must have been able to see right through to the back of my skull. From that point on I lay VERY still and listened to the commentary. My old lens came out and the plastic one went in, along with enough drops to sink a ship. The sheet was removed, the eye plastered over and I was wheeled out. The next day the plaster came off and I could sort of see again. The fuzzy patch had gone but the world was slightly out of focus and my glasses didn't help. During the following days things came back into focus. Unfortunately the eye drops had to continue, three times a day, for the next three weeks. Then my copy of Private Eye arrived and I found they had fixed the problem with the faint print as I could read it quite easily.
Jamie
Answers to Moses anagrams: basket; pharaoh; shepherd; miracles; burning bush; plagues; passover; israelites; commandments; leader
Services at Holy Trinity Church, Utrecht
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